In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
