I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Randomize
