I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
