I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Randomize