I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
