Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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