A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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