awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
