If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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