Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
