I don't think brook has ever known best
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
