So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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