nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
