i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
