sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
