I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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