Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
