You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
