I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
