You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
