How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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