Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
