if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
