Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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