"it" just moved
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
