Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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