We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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