That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
