how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
