pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
