I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
