you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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