he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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