Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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