Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize