OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
