Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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