I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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