Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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