btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
