Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
