When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
