I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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