6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
