We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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