id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
