She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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