you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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