is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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