You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
