my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
