when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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