would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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