so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Let's get the cat blown out
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
