dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
