You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
