Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
