Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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