Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
