at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize