I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
