maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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