what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
