i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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