I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize