normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You have to summon your inner elephant
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
